Drunk Ewoks
Bible belt
Shot glass that says “Give us a shot,” handed out at bars by Cross Point United Methodist Church in Bondurant, Iowa. Unfortunately all you get is the glass, so you still have to pay for what’s in it. Jesus.
Half-arsed attempt at IPA
…beats a no-arsed attempt. India Pale Ale was fermented at sea, over the course of the 100-day voyage to India. The brew’s peculiarities — higher levels of alcohol and hops — were necessary to preserve it on the journey. Now, of course, breweries just do it as best they can on dry land because really, [...]
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Dispenses liquor out of bum hole. Don’t worry, not human bum hole. Warthog bum hole. Two of them, actually. And as you can clearly tell, one was a boy and one was a girl. Maybe I’m just a romantic, but I like to think that they were married. Happy anniversary my dear, let’s have a [...]
Are you *sure* you don’t want a brown paper bag for that?
I asked the Playboy Advisor and got the straight story: Penis-enlargement is big business. Pun unavoidable.
1. Whip up a placebo (usually made of oats) with a suggestive name.
2. Devise a convincingly unpolished infomercial (these people are not actors — they are men with small penises and accredited urologists willing to lie for money).
3. Count the [...]
If you could bottle it
Hmm. Magazines can’t sell ads. Alcohol is one of the few sectors of the economy on the rise. Enter… magazine beer?
Twilight at the Oasis
Fruity drinks and hokey Polynesian decor? I’m there, every damn time. Don’t touch my Mai Tai and we won’t have any problems. Bonus points if Les Baxter or Martin Denny is actually playing. Tiki bars persist, against the odds. That is, until they don’t. San Francisco’s Tonga Room seems doomed.
Sign the petition and join the [...]
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itchy
